(STORY) The Tales Of Ben Episode 1


Getting rich was my main focus. After a whole day of hustling and hanging out with the boys, I get home to my single room apartment with a plate of already cooked indomie which cost me N120. That was the life of a pure “Bachelor”. Not a bachelor of any academic course but a bachelor of being single.

My name is Ben Opeyemi Esan and this story is not about myself, it’s about you, the reader. I am here to tell your story. Surprised? Don’t worry. You will find a bit of yourself in my life and the way I go about things. I’m sure you are going to relate.

Let me not keep you waiting.

Today is Monday. You woke up early in the morning and the first thing you did was to reach out for your phone and check the numerous whatsapp messages. Hold on, did I say numerous? That is if you are a “Fresh” lady, unlike me who’s a guy and a broke one at that.

I don’t wake up to check messages; I wake up to send messages. I send “Hi” to ladies and I know it will take about 20 minutes for them to reply. I send “Hello Dear” to the ladies who don’t even read my message at all, then finally, I send “Knocking” to my crushes.

As a young guy, it’s during these early hours that you see my “little man” very erect. It puts me in the mood to chat longer and be flirty.

Even with this life, the devil has a way of just spoiling the fun, you know. It’s either the charger to your phone is messing up or you are in PHCN power blackout.

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Anyway, on this particular day, everything seemed to be going well. No charger problems or “PHCN” wahala.

In my dark brown boxer shorts which I had been wearing for like four days now and my phone in hand, I get my chatting groove on. As usual, I was checking “DP’s” (Display or profile pictures) and saving the “Fresh” ones on my phone just for the purpose of pimping my gallery. The idea was that at the end of the day after the boys had gone through them, I could win the best playboy with “fine babes” contest.

After sending several messages to different ladies, chatting them up in the same format, there comes a message from this girl I have a crush on, Paulina.

Sometimes, I just don’t get ladies! You know very well that I have feelings for you yet you come to me telling me about your relationship problems as if I’m a professional counsellor.

That really sucks, but you know, we have to play along and act all cool like we care. However, on a more serious note, the more advice I give you to make your relationship better, the more I secretly look up to the wishing stars and pray that it ends.

I did as was expected of me, gave her the advice she needed and as usual, she went like “thank you”. That was all, she didn’t even ask how I was even faring. No comment.

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It’s about 10 am now and like every other day, I didn’t get any girl to flirt back. Hunger set in. With the only N150 in my pocket, I set off to buy some dundun for breakfast. That was where I mistakenly bumped into an old mate of mine Sheila.

I couldn’t believe my eyes, that girl was driving a Toyota Camry. She was the girl that my mates actually teased me with back in primary school. I used to pretend like I didn’t like her but I would secretly daydream of her when I returned home. There was this one time that my class teacher had to change places. It was my best moment in school that day when I was told to sit beside her.

I could hear and see the whole class cheering me on but I had to put on that hard look like I didn’t like what the teacher was doing, even though I actually wished I could sit with her for the whole of the term.

She was very slim back then but her looks had really changed now. She looked more classy and her shape, Oh my God! I just can’t put it in words. Sheila was just a replica of Peace Hyde. Beauty on point, Shape on point, Color on point, Everything on point.

I had to hide my china iPhone when she took out her Iphone 8 to take my number. Even the way she spoke had changed. She now had a British accent. It was really hard for me to hear what she was saying when she asked me how I was doing. I initially thought she was asking “how I woke up”. I was like, “oh normal”. That perfectly fits, right? I know, yeah.

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Anyway, She drove off. I knew she was never going to call me because I was way out of her league now. Like the saying goes, the stone the builders rejected had become the chief cornerstone.

The queue at the dundun seller was like they were rushing for an American visa. That wasn’t a problem for me at all, the dun dun seller knew me and knew what I wanted to buy. I just had to make her see that I was around and that’s all, my food is well served.

I had just finished paying for my dun dun when I heard someone call me from behind.

“Ben, Ben”

It was the London accent lady again. I knew before turning around that she was the one. I wondered what had brought her back.

“What are you doing here? I asked.

“Was wondering if we could go and sit somewhere and have breakfast”

Did she just say that or was I daydreaming?

…. To be continued.

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